Anticipatory Anxiety

From Encyclopedia of Sex and Sexuality

Some individuals have sexual problems because of their worries that they may have sexual problems. If a man worries that he might not obtain or maintain an erection, that concern, or anticipatory anxiety (sometimes called “performance anxiety”) about not being able to perform the expected sexual act might actually result in what he fears will happen. Anticipatory anxiety must be relieved to achieve success in sexual acts involving erections. The sex therapist seeks to replace his anxiety by teaching him how to fantasize: with sexual fantasies and masturbation it is often easier to obtain and maintain an erection until climax, without the fear of having to perform successfully for a partner.

A woman who believes that she will not be able to have an orgasm with a partner will probably not have one. As with males, anxiety is reduced by successful performance with fantasy and masturbation. After some success with fantasy, the client may be instructed to create images in which she achieves orgasm with a partner while actually bringing herself to orgasm through masturbation. Sex therapists find that this helps many women to become orgasmic when stimulated by the partner about whom they had formerly fantasized.