Dominance and Submission
From Encyclopedia of Sex and Sexuality
As individuals develop and enlarge their sexual experiences, some find that unusual sexual practices excite them more than more ordinary acts of sexual intercourse. For some, the sexual activity that may be most satisfying involves a form of sexual dominance or sexual humiliation of their partner. In the broadest sense, these sexual practices are considered a form of paraphilia, meaning a love of unusual sexual practices. More specifically, sexual dominance is often considered by psychotherapists to be a form of sadomasochism. While some individuals may have enough of an obsession with these behaviors to warrant a clinical diagnosis of psychopathology, for many, particularly married couples, sexual dominance may only be manifested in consenting “games” involving bondage and discipline or other forms of dominance and submission. In a recent national study, 11 percent of men and women claimed personal experience with dominance and/or bondage.
In these relationships one of the partners behaves in a dominant manner, while the other is submissive during the “game.” Behavior during these episodes, for those not considered clinically sadomasochistic, does not usually reflect the relationship of the couple in their everyday activity. On the contrary, some researchers have reported that persons who exert much authority and control over others in their business or profession may enjoy the submissive role during these games while, conversely, the stereotypical “Casper Milquetoast” may desire extreme dominant activities during sex. The distinction between a psyopathogical obsession with such games and their use as diversionary play is a clinical decision and should be made only by a qualified professional. If the submissive partner is not a consenting adult, this behavior is criminal as well.
In its simplest form dominance may involve simple bondage, in which a husband or wife tie their partner to the bed while having sex with them. While many couples may consider this harmless, a recent bestseller by Stephen King explores the horror of such a game gone awry. In more elaborate games, submissive partners may be spanked or whipped for imaginary wrong-doings, as if they were children being punished by a parent. In the most elaborate games individuals may be placed in chains, leather masks, handcuffs, etc.
Some persons (usually males) may prefer to go to a professional dominatrix to help carry out these games in elaborate play-acting involving costumes and settings worthy of a stage play. Rarely do these activities involve sexual performances by the dominatrix. In the United States and other countries there are clubs and bars that cater to dominants and submissives. Some of these bars are called “leather bars” because of the frequent use of leather clothing and paraphernalia by participants.
