Empty Nest Syndrome
From Encyclopedia of Sex and Sexuality
The portrayal of women—and to a lesser degree their husbands—as being depressed after the youngest child goes off to college or gets married has been part of the popular literature and media since the early 1970s. The parents’ relationship is presumed to have changed—to have been diminished—because many or most couples are thought to have little communication in their marriage except around issues concerning children. There also is the popular belief that unless the marriage is a very good one—usually assumed for only a minority of marriages—the situation precipitates crises and problems, often manifested in a loss of sexual desire due to depression. Proponents of the empty nest syndrome concept sometimes point to its temporal association with menopause and note the assumption that menopause also causes depression and anxiety about advancing years.
Researchers have repeatedly contradicted popular assumptions about the empty nest syndrome as well as the psychological consequences of menopause. Studies of women from all socio-economic classes, who had been mainly homemakers until the youngest child left home, report that these women feel only brief sadness at separation from the child, and that this is generally followed soon after by a sense of relief that they are no longer tied down by their children’s needs. In another study of aging, women with children that have grown up and left home are likelier to report happy marriages than women with dependent children at home. This study also reported that the psychosexual life of post–middle-aged persons is far happier than popular myths had assumed.
While depression does not appear to be inevitable at this stage of life, if depression does appear it should be taken as a warning signal that perhaps there is a problem in the marriage or elsewhere in the woman’s life. Unless the causes are obvious, depression may be a serious condition that should be addressed by an appropriate physician, counselor, or therapist.
