Gay and Lesbian Life
From Encyclopedia of Sex and Sexuality
Before 1969 gay and lesbian life was largely hidden from society and the activities of its members were secretive. Gay people at that time were deeply “in the closet” about their homosexuality, and most people would have claimed never to have known a homosexual. In many cases, gay men and women lived a furtive, secretive life, desperately trying to appear heterosexual to colleagues, family, and friends by day, while seeking gay romantic and sexual relationships by night. During this time, gays collected in places that were safe from prying eyes, and hopefully from entrapment by the police. Lesbians were even more secretive than gay men. They collected in friendship groups, in which they socialized and chose lovers. Like most women in our society, they sought out and cherished intimate relationships with other women. Gay men, on the other hand, were more sexually motivated. They met in bars (gay women also had bars, but these were much fewer in number), in bath houses, and while “cruising” the streets. They often did not know the names of their sexual partners—anonymity was the safest policy against exposure as a homosexual, and exposure might mean being discharged from one’s job, rejected by one’s family and friends, and even arrested and jailed.
There were homosexuals, both men and women, who suffered such low self-esteem that they never permitted themselves to engage in romantic or sexual contacts with members of the same sex. They led overtly heterosexual lives, often marrying and having children, all the while damning themselves for their homosexual desires, which, they were taught, were perverted and sinful. Many suffered serious bouts of depression, and some committed suicide. Self-hating homosexuals are now known to be suffering from internalized homophobia.
In 1969 police raided “The Stonewall,” a gay bar in New York City. For the first time, homosexuals fought back and rioted in the streets, beginning the modern gay liberation movement. The gay movement simply followed examples set by the black movement and the women’s movement. It insisted that a homosexual life-style be treated with the same respect offered to a heterosexual one. It held that all gay men and women should have the same rights as everyone else and rejected laws aimed specifically at gay people, such as laws against congregating, laws punishing consensual homosexual sex in private, and discrimination in employment and housing.
Twenty-five years have passed since the gay liberation movement began, and the lives of gay people have changed materially for the better. Most states have rescinded their sodomy laws and many cities have enacted civil rights legislation to protect gay people from discrimination. The American Psychiatric Association no longer considers homosexuality a mental illness; this encouraged even more people to come out of the closet so that there are now openly gay people in every profession.
More and more homosexual men and women live openly gay lives. They have “come out” to family, friends, and coworkers, and this attitude of self-respect has improved others’ attitudes immeasurably. Lesbian and gay couples live together with much less fear of their neighbors (and landlords) than ever before. While marriage between homosexuals is still not legal in any state, many cities allow “domestic partnership” agreements, providing a small measure of recognition to gay employees of those cities. Even more interesting is the fact that some large corporations have recognized gay and lesbian couples by granting spousal rights to fringe benefits. Gay and lesbian couples have even changed the nature of the family: thousands of children have been adopted by these couples; other children have been born to lesbian couples by artificial insemination; and children are often brought into a gay or lesbian relationship from a previous heterosexual marriage.
