Marriage
From Encyclopedia of Sex and Sexuality
The socially recognized acceptance by a community of the uniting of two individuals in a permanent sexual and family relationship as husband and wife. Their emotions and attentions are focused on each other, but their roles and relationships are expanded if and when children come. Anthropologists and sociologists generally agree that throughout history and in almost all cultures, the main function of the family has been to nurture and socialize offspring in order to ensure the continuity of social institutions from generation to generation. In earlier times, the family was also primarily responsible for physical protection and education of the young and the transmission of religious values, among other functions; to a great extent these have been taken over by such institutions as schools, the police, and organized religion. Meanwhile, an increasingly important function of marriage has been the nurturing, love, and sexual fulfillment that should ideally exist between husband and wife.
Many cultures—throughout history and in many parts of the world—have permitted or preferred polygyny (males having two or more wives at the same time) and some societies have permitted polyandry (women having two or more husbands). Modern societies, particularly those influenced by the Jewish and Christian value systems, almost always limit marriage to monogamy—the union of one man and one woman. (There is, however, some movement in the United States and in parts of Europe toward an acceptance of homosexual marriages.) In Western culture the concept of monogamy extends to the sexual activity of each partner by limiting sex outside the marriage. (The double standard of male and female sexual behavior, has led to greater tolerance for male as contrasted with female sexual freedom.)
In the last few decades, both in Europe and the United States, a small but significant segment of the population has expressed the view that traditional sexual exclusivity may not allow husbands and wives to be as sexually or emotionally satisfied as possible. Some writers have traced this point of view to a post-Freudian idea that individual happiness should be a major goal in life and that marriage should, in large part, focus on the couple’s sexual and emotional fulfillment.
Despite high rates of divorce in the United States, a recent national survey done by Drs. Sam and Cynthia Janus indicates that an overwhelming majority of Americans (90 percent of men and 92 percent of women) agree or strongly agree that the family is the most important institution in society. On the other hand, they also note that only 20 percent of the men and 13 percent of the women interviewed believe that to be “truly fulfilled one must be married.” This attitude has something to do with the fact that in recent decades it has become more common for couples to live together, sometimes for decades, without getting married. In those cases where they eventually do marry, it is often because a baby is contemplated or expected.
Over the last century marriage rates in the United States have risen and fallen periodically. The low rates (approximately 8 marriages per 1,000 persons per year) occurred around the turn of the century, in 1930, and in 1960. The high rates (12 or so marriages per 1,000 persons per year) were reported in 1920, 1940, and 1990. The age at which people first marry has been climbing steadily—from the mid to late teens early in the century to twenty-six years of age for men and twenty-four for women in the 1990s. In a recent report, the National Center for Health Statistics predicted that about 70 percent of males and females would marry at least once in their lifetimes—an estimate considerably lower than that of the 1970s, when it was estimated that 87 percent of females and 96 percent of males would marry. Several reasons for the decline have been suggested: less social pressure on those who are not emotionally inclined to the intimacy or responsibilities of marriage; large numbers of gay men and lesbian women, who would have been “in the closet” in previous decades and may have married to deny or conceal their homosexuality; increasing economic independence for women; and more social acceptance of single motherhood by choice.
As we move into the twenty-first century, it appears that the definition of marriage as exclusively monogamous and heterosexual will undergo examination and perhaps change. Far from being a cause for worry, this is a healthy reflection of the need for the family as an institution to function harmoniously in a rapidly changing world.
